ex files

coming soon... men i've loved, lost and learned from

if you know the real identity of any of these men please, please keep it to yourself. they went through enough just dating me. 

catcher:


becks:


rocker:

flyer

looks: tall 6'5, kind eyes, adorable smile,ear length sandy hair and fit body. rugged good looking type. 

when: for one awesome month in 2011

meet cute: pof dating website. we decided to meet at a bar. i didn't want to go. flyer was not my type, he was a driver for a local company and he didn't live in my ideal area. i also assumed from his job and living arrangements he wasn't living comfortably. judgmental much? good lord i was closed minded. what caught my eye was all the fun pictures and full life he seemed to have. lots of friends, learning to play guitar, sky dive instructor. i literally had to talk myself into going. you will find someone, you can have one drink then if he's awful make up a polite excuse and leave. i arrived just before him. the bar was nice, new, clean and wasn't too loud. flyer arrived and we instantly fell into easy conversation. he was fun, a thrill seeker which i found scary and a little fascinating. we had a similar religious upbringing and for some reason i instantly felt safe around him. after two hours flew by i mentioned that i should probably go... though i really didn't want to go. he easily convinced me to see a movie with him. it was fun i had a great time. he walked me to my car that night we hugged, said our goodbyes and promised to see each other again.

relationship: we went on a bunch more dates. i came to learn that he owns a house and rent's it out because he didn't need/want that much space. he was handy (i adore a man that can fix things) he was also smart with his money, close with his family and had a lot of cool friends. flyer was exactly what i needed. a calm, patient, cool and relaxed man i think his only flaw may be he's an adrenaline junkie. as opposed to my then high strung anxiety and i'm perpetually working on being more patient. he was a gentleman and a breath of fresh air after some of the other guys i dated on pof. 

the end: just as i was starting to calm down and settle into a relationship with flyer he called me with "the best news ever!" he told me a buddy friend of his called/hooked him up with the "harvard" of skydiving schools. they needed a new instructor. "great, doll! that's awesome! how cool would it be to do the thing you love and get paid a bundle for it!?" was my reply. he was busy in the middle of moving to a new house but he asked could he see me later. sure. lets hook up when you have down time. eventually he got the job. called me "babe i got the job can you believe it!" OMG doll that's amazing! congrats! you deserve it! i can't think of a better person this could have happen to! then i ran out of nice things to say and started thinking about myself. i politely had to go ie i ended the call with a made up work excuse. obviously it was way to early for me or him to even think of asking me to go with him. i had my own company here. i wouldn't just pick up my life and chase another guy again. damn just as i find a great, practically perfect guy yes i'm sure he wasn't perfect but we would have worked he up and gets his dream job and moves to another state. i should also say that around the time he told me he got the job i started to pull away. it's my natural instinct to protect myself. i ignored his calls and texts for a few days. i eventually called him and told him i was sorry i'm such a wretched girl. i just didn't know how to act with the new job. he was a sweetheart and said he understood and no problem. i wasn't awful. bless this sweet man! i reverted to a waspy bitch and he was sweet and understanding. 

lesson learned: be open and honest with my feelings and fears. tell men how you feel and they will understand. in this case.. but i definitively think this should be a best practice of life. i also realized that there are still good men out there, who may not look good "on paper" but are total rockstars at life. they live life to the fullest and have friends and hobby's. this seems to be a continual theme in my life whenever i don't want to do something ie work out, go on a sales meeting, go on a date it always ends up that i feel better, make a sale, or have a wonderful time.